Pages From My Journal - 002: Fragility

 

Pages From My Journal - 002: Fragility

Spring has revived me, and I feel that I am emerging from a long winter's hibernation. Finally, I have the desire, the urge, to write. I know myself; these moments are often followed by deep, immersive, intensive sessions - days and days of non-stop writing and creative work, only to exhaust myself and once again fall into a silence.

This moment is fragile. I am trying to handle it with care - not to allow the frenzy to take over, but rather to pace myself, to keep myself disciplined. Focused. Step by step - a marathon - not a race.

And yet I can feel myself slipping at times, and I know that I can't keep a slow and steady pace forever. I've never been able to. It's all-in, or nothing at all, and everything that's meant to be in-between is so very difficult to force.

Even now, as I write this, I have, in the past two days, written over 4,000 words. More than I have written in the last seven months combined.

What's the solution? How do I move forward from here? Do I allow myself the indulgence, and accept the silence that comes after, waiting patiently for the next hurricane, as I always have?