Murder in Heliopolis - January 2024 Revision Update

Murder in Heliopolis - January Revision Update

JANUARY 26, 2024: As I go through and revise the plot and worldbuilding of this futuristic solarpunk thriller, I'm gravitating towards some new ideas that might end up making pretty big changes into the story as it exists right now. I'm trying not to think about how much work that's going to be - so much more than I originally considered! And I'm also trying not to fall into the perfectionist trap. If I keep refining the story ad infinitum, I'll never finish it. I don't need it to be perfect; no story is. I just need it to be good. Satisfying, for me and the reader. 

In the meantime, I have been working on filling out what I'm personally referring to as my Encyclopaedia Heliopolitana. Basically, when I printed out my Murder in Heliopolis manuscript and got it bound, I realized that I hadn't taken into consideration the margins. I was worried that if I printed it double-sided, part of the text would be shaved off by the spiral binding. So, I decided to print only single-sided... which left me with a lot of white paper. And gave me a great idea. 

I've been adding entries on the wide sides of the pages, fleshing out worldbuilding ideas, character profiles, plot points, settings, and more. I'm proud to say that I've filled up several of these pages already, many with information I hadn't previously considered, so it's really helping me get a lot straightened out. Most of the rest of the pages are already titled, so that I know what to fill them up with. I have 27 pages alone that will talk about the different regions/neighbourhoods/districts of Heliopolis. 

Since I'm now viewing my current end-point for the book as more of a halfway point, I also know that I need to write the rest of the book, which will be no small feat. I'm basically going to end up doubling the amount of writing I've already got, more or less. In addition to all of that, I'm also introducing more POVs in the already-existing part of the book, which will mean even more writing. All in all, it's shaping up to look like I'm going to be adding more to the book than the current wordcount. I think I may have underestimated the amount of work that was going to go into this edit! 

Some elements that I've been developing so far: 

• History of Heliopolis. I focused specifically on its founding (after a major world war) and development, but this led me to the topic of population growth in Heliopolis, which made me realize that my math has been way off. I also worked on developing the 27 "districts", and am currently trying to figure out how they were established in chronological order. But, to do that, I feel I need to create a map.
  
  
• Population Growth in Heliopolis. I mentioned that Heliopolis has a population of 6 million. However, my earlier consideration was that Heliopolis was built upon the ruins of our current civilizations after a major world war. Given that idea, which I'm sticking to, I'm keeping the founding of Heliopolis at 2030. And, since the book claims to be set in the year 2111, and I'm thinking that they founded Heliopolis with only a small number of people (about 500), there's no way in any universe where they could have reached 6 million people in that short time span of less than 100 years. So, I've had to re-do the math. Which leads me to the current timeline.
  
  
• The Current Year in Heliopolis. Given all of the previous mathematics, I've realized that it would make more sense for the current year to be 2504 rather than 2111. So, that's that. It seems so far in the future, and I was hoping the story could take place in an earlier time to feel like it's more within reach given our current reality, but if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.
  
  
• The 27 "districts" of Heliopolis. I don't like the word "district", but I'm not sure what else to call them. These are a range of different regions in the mega-city, which each have a different focus and function. Some are residential, some are industrial, some are academic, some are commercial, and some don't really fit well under any of those categories. Some are scattered, meaning that they exist in areas throughout Heliopolis, but are considered as a whole for administrative and official purposes.
  
  
• Police procedures in Heliopolis. I realized that I don't like the way Laith approached certain aspects of the investigation. As I'm re-reading the book, I'm flagging all sort of decisions I had him make that don't make that much sense to me now. For example, how could he not have contacted Patina Grove, Cassia's mother, until towards the end of the manuscript? It makes no sense. As I rearrange these elements of the story, some of the plot will definitely be impacted. Some reveals might end up taking place sooner. And, if I don't want that to happen, then I'll need to figure out a way to change certain critical plot points.
  
  
• The Hills. One of the 27 districts of Heliopolis, this is a residential neighbourhood. Cassia Grove's home is here, and it's in her house that she was found murdered. I took some time this past week to consider how The Hills were made, how big the homes are, how they look visually, and so on.
  
  
• PATET Analysis Cases. I made a little entry about these handy-dandy analysis kits that forensic investigators bring with them, why they're needed, and what they can analyze, and how they connect to PATET and help it solve crimes.
  
  
• Slates and Slate Applications. These are actually a bit of a grey area for me and have been from the beginning. I wanted something that felt a bit futuristic without being completely alien and dystopian. I didn't want people to have chips implanted into them, for example. Slates seemed like a good alternative. They're basically like smartphones, but very official. Just like we carry around our wallets, IDs, passports, licenses, and phones today, people in Heliopolis don't leave the house without their Slates. I made a nice entry about how/where they're made, when Heliopolitan citizens get their Slates, what happens if they're stolen or broken, what children use instead, and so on. Slates come with a set of applications, but you can't download or install any others without going to the Heliopolis Slate Commission, with the green light from whichever institute or party requires you to get whichever specific application. And, before you ask: Nope, there are no games on Slates.
  
  
• PATET Identity Database. Given that identity - mistaken or falsified - is such an important part of Murder in Heliopolis, it would be remiss of me not to make an entry where I go into more detail concerning how the ID Database is maintained, updated, how it could potentially be manipulated, and how people could hide from PATET's recognition software, among other things.
  
  
• The Floats. Cassia's club, Nymphaeales, is located on The Floats, a picturesque network of floating structures and man-made islands off the shores of Heliopolis. I talked a little about this 'district' in an entry to my Encyclopaedia Heliopolitana. 😁
  
  
• Crime in Heliopolis. I talked a little bit about how crime rates are in Heliopolis, how they're growing but not with any alarming significance, why that is, and who the four most infamous criminals in Heliopolis have been over the past 470 years.
  
  
• Cassia and Pheonix's relationship. At some point Laith sees the messages between Cassia and Pheonix, and considers them to be quite cold. The truth is, Cassia and Pheonix were best friends, and they looked out for each other since childhood. On those final few weeks, things were getting pretty tense, what with Invidia, blackmail, and the constant reminder of what they had done looming over their heads. I wanted to make sure I jotted that down because it's not mentioned, really, anywhere in the story, and it's an important part of understanding their relationship.
  
  
• The Official Quarter. Another of the 27 'districts'. Where all of the official buildings are - the Heliopolis Assembly, the Heliopolis Police Department HQ, the Heliopolis Slate Commission, and so on.
  
  
• The Ruins. Started working on an entry about the Ruins. What they are, who lives there, crime in the Ruins, and so on. Incomplete; still lots to add.
  
  
• PATET Specialists. Also referred to as Specs, Specialists are a highly-respected few in Heliopolitan society. I talk about Specialist training and studies, the organizational structure of PATET HQ, corruption of PATET Specialists, and so on.
  
  
• PATET HQ Security Methods. Considered the question that Laith put to Audra in Chapter 14. I wasn't completely satisfied with the security measures she listed, so I went ahead and created a whole security system meant to prevent the corruption of Specs and the unethical manipulation of PATET.
  
  
• Character Relationships. With a murder mystery and thriller this big, and a larger conspiracy looming over it all, I realized that it would make more sense to make a character relationships web so that I can keep track of all of the characters, how they relate to one another, and who knows what. Sometimes, it can be a little hard to keep track of it all. The other reason I did this was so that I can add a little more tension by giving certain characters secrets that may or may not be relevant to the main conflict. I also introduced a range of new characters using this web, including: Ivy Lebben, Orken, Moorland Fraser, Amir, and Ferin.
  
  
• Guides. The elected leadership of Heliopolis are called Guides. I didn't want to call them something that is generally used today. President, Prime Minister, Elders, Chancellors, etc. etc. I wanted something very different, but which also reflected Heliopolitan culture. So, they're called Guides because they're meant to help guide the people they represent, and who voted for them, and thereby guide all of Heliopolis towards a brighter future. There are 27 Guides, each elected in different districts. The voting structure is a bit complicated - I can make another post for that. I also introduced a handful of guides, which may or may not make it into the story.
  
  
• Calliope Frost. A new character. An antagonist. Working on her profile. She's... let's just say she and Aster Lockwood would get along just swell. 

Phew! That's a lot! But it's not all. I also went through and added at least 12 new scenes which aren't in Laith's POV. Trying to mix things up a bit and create a little more tension, and, as I've mentioned before, I wanted to remove the issue of Laith having to either guess things or being told things - and readers having to live with that. Also, I shuffled around a few scenes for a more reasonable story pacing and to add to the tension. 

I definitely need some more action, and I'm thinking that moving into the second part of this story, there should be, but I'm also considering how to add more action to the first part of the story, so that it's less Laith asking himself questions and occasionally asking others questions, and more action. Movement. Driving the plot forward. You know - the good stuff.

As January comes to a close, I'm going to take a few days' break from Murder in Heliopolis and writing in genetal. Sometimes, working on something non-stop for days on end can be a little... exhausting, shall we say? Especially when you're trying to solve a range of problems, like how to make what's already written even better, and how to figure out what the heck is going to happen moving forward in the story. 😂

I welcome any additional feedback from readers. You can find the current manuscript here.