Exploring Style & Dialogue - A Snippet

This one's a bit of a weird one, but I did enjoy writing it and trying my hand at something unusual. The idea behind this piece is sort of this neon-drenched "Hotel California", where you walk into Smokey Blue's and find that you can't leave:

Welcome to Smoky Blue’s, they tell you.

You don’t know how you got here, and you don’t know where you were.

Thanks for dropping by, they say. What can we do for you?

Through the haze and the lights, you know something’s wrong.

Interest you in a fresh start, perhaps?

The haze is smoke; it’s coming from a cigarette - or maybe twenty.

Another life? A second chance?

They hang out of their mouth and they puff, puff, puff; you don’t know where you are.

It’s easier than you think, they say. Much easier than you’d expect.

You can’t feel the floor, no gravity, like you’re dropping in an elevator.

But the price is only fair, they say.

Your stomach is sinking, sinking, sinking, and you can’t say a word.

A life for a life would defeat the purpose, so a soul is what you’ll pay.

They smile a strange smile and the cigarettes fall out; they don’t stop falling.

It’s the chance of a lifetime, a one-time deal.

Their hand is on you - a touch - a theft.

It’s a bargain deal - what do you say?

But the sinking feeling ends, and your soul is already gone.

What I enjoyed most about writing this was also the dialogue, which isn't really dialogue at all. I like playing around with formatting to represent different kinds of communication. In this one, it seems like someone is talking to you, but no words are actually said, and instead all of their lines are italicized, like thoughts traditionally tend to be - almost like they're in your head. It contributes to that sensation of being in a haze, which is also what I wanted to do with this.

Would love to know what you think of this small snippet!